Vivo Per La Sfida!
It was dusk.
When I found out.
My fingernails dug into my phone.
My other hand pushed hard against the car dash.
Every muscle tightened.
I braced myself...and asked again.
"Nolan didn't make it."
Next throwing up.
Next barely reach my dark room.
Next rocking, shaking, dizzy, saying one word. Over and over and over and over and over-
I packed black things. Strange things. What things?
Flight in the middle of the night.
Rocking on the airport floor. My tingling face against the huge, foggy window.
Murmuring to myself.
Strange looks coming from fellow passengers while I wept in my seat in the air.
Stumble to baggage claim.
Everywhere I go I'm hunched over. Arms tucked in. Feet heavy. Head light.
Eyes dart around.
Where are the other recipients of this horrid news?
My heart beats fast to see them.
The 3 appear.
No longer 5.
We are 4.
I scan their eyes. They scan mine.
I see fear.
I share it.
Our bodies collide, shakily, off balance, unable to use our arms correctly.
We finally hug.
It begins- life without Nolan.
I miss you. I love you.
August 24th 2012
2 years today.